Lacey Smith

It’s not that easy

In Religion, The Real World on January 22, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I am a very vocal advocate for a lot of things, not the least of which are traditional gender roles, traditional families, common sense conservatism, homeschooling and many other things that range from relatively benign to extremely controversial.

Despite my no-nonsense, take no prisoners defense of or advocating for these things, even I recognize that what is simple is not always easy.

Last week, I presented my case that women need to reject what the modern world claims is their role and return to their rightful place in the home. I believe this intensely, passionately. That is our right. As modern women, our attitude towards being a homemaker is much that of a prince rejecting the throne in favor of being a pauper. It’s a tragic idea.

However, even someone as committed to this idea as I am is still subject to the influence of the attitude of the world in which I live.

This was made very clear to me when we went to a wedding in southern California last week and got stuck there. It became an unintentionally long “vacation” as we waited for our car to be fixed. While we were there, we stayed with friends we love, had a chance to visit with my grandparents, visit the (rather chilly) beach and spend lots of time together.

Although I had, in theory, everything that was important to me and a chance to disconnect for a couple of days from work and embrace my role as wife and mom (even though it wasn’t “at home”), I struggled to do it. I couldn’t disconnect from work.

It was the same thing when my baby was born. It took me over a week to let go of my job to just be home with her.

See, despite my desire to leave corporate America and settle down into the role that is rightly mine, I also have a job that I love. I wouldn’t call it my “dream job”, but if anyone has to be working, they should get to like their job as much as I (usually) like mine.

It’s a job that before my little girl I couldn’t see ever being anxious to leave (unless my dream job came along). I’m still not sure when I have that opportunity I will be able to embrace it the way that I wish I could.

Despite my very strong views on the subject – women should be and should want to be in the home – I am still a product of my generation. I still think I can and should be able to do everything. I don’t need a man. I do need a job to maintain my independence and I should work. I can be a working mother and still be both an employee and a mom every bit as well as I could do just one or the other.

And why not? It’s so appealing to think that I am invincible and omnipotent. It’s appealing to think there are no consequences for my choices and that what I want is the most important thing.

I know it’s a lie. But I still want to believe it.

It’s unfortunate that this world makes it so easy to believe the lies. We grow up with them, so often we don’t even recognize them.

I’ll continue to make strong statements and push for the best. But I recognize it’s not that easy. We have a long way to go.

So, if you agree with me in theory, but can’t quite get on board in practice, that’s ok. I struggle with reality too.

It’s not that easy now. But maybe, if I keep working, keep pushing, it will be someday.

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